Who I Am

Last night we carved pumpkins with Amy and Alex. It was alot of fun. There were some really good ones and umm...some different ones :) Whatever they looked like the memories were all good!




Tamara's Alien "Voted #1"

It's been 4 days since I last had a diet Coke. My head hurts, I'm sleepy and I'm not in a very good mood. This quitting Cokes thing is not one of my better ideas!

My heart sank today. Not because the economy is down, or that I have 3 exams in the next week, or that money is tighter than security at Fort Knox right now. Nope, it sank because today at school I saw a little girl holding her Daddy's hand walking around campus. Then just like that, a flood of memories came crashing into my mind, reminding me of another time and another place. It seems like just yesterday, I had a two year old and a four year old walking around campus with me, looking at the rabbits, fountains and ground squirrels. Yet today as I walked through campus I was all alone. My little girls are growing up and there is nothing I can do to stop it. When they were that age, I was so stressed about so many things that I forgot to enjoy that time with them because it always seemed like it would last forever and now its gone. If I only knew then what I know now, I would have cherished every breathing second of my babies being little. I guess life moves on.

No words to say really...just pictures to post :)

Today I went up to Pam's school and watched as she got her hair cut off for Pantene Beautiful Lengths. It was an awesome contribution and selfless act that will certainly help someone who has lost their hair due to cancer. I was extremely proud of her and have to admit I teared up while I was recording the whole thing during her schools morning assembly. After she was done the kids stood up and said the Pledge of Allegiance. I haven't said the Pledge of Allegiance in a long time. You know we don't have morning assembly at my school mainly because that falls under the, "You know how I know your gay?" category. Anyway, as I stood there hand over heart reciting the pledge, I felt a great since of pride and gratefulness for the country that I live in. So many people gripe about this great nation, yet we take for granted all the freedoms and rights that we have. I'm so proud and thankful for our soldiers defending our nation and making it safe for others around the world as well and whether you believe in what the government is doing or not, know that those soldiers are giving up their comforts and possibly lives for you so at least support them. We live in a unique, wonderful nation and sometimes with our busy hectic lives we forget that. So today I feel proud. Proud of my wife who gave to someone who is suffering and in need and Proud of my country and the men and women who are out there defending it. All of you are my heroes.

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible,With Liberty and Justice for all.

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "YOU'RE HOT" YOU SAY?
"Cleanin' out my closet" (must have found some new clothes)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE?
"Rockstar" (that's what I'm talking about)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE LONG GOAL?
"Better than Me" (hmm...)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Sandman" (off to never never land!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Surround Me" (cause I'm so dangerous)

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LIFE?
"If its Over" (what????)

WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT?
"Party Like a Rockstar." ( that would be awesome!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR EX?
"You Don't Know." (obviously or you wouldn't have asked)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO LIKES YOU?
"Ayo Technology." - pretty appropriate if you know the song ;)

WHAT DOES YOUR BEST FRIEND ALWAYS SAY TO YOU?
" Switch" (haha that's pretty funny)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Get Stoned" (I have such high goals for my life!)

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
"Shake That" (LOL That is funny!)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Its been awhile" (For what?????)

WHAT WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"I am whatever you say I am" (Not bad I may have to suggest that to Pam)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Into the Night" (undoubtedly I'm afraid of the dark..didn't know that about myself)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"In da club" (And you know this!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HOUSE?
"London Bridge" (Great now my house is gonna fall down)

WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS?
"Lose Yourself"

Lately, I've been learning how to breathe. Not for oxygen but for life. I've been learning to slow down, look around and embrace this moment that I'm in. Its not where I want to end up, but its where I am right now and its good. I am a good student, friend, husband and dad. I don't know where God wants me to be but I will keep walking and looking until he shows me. I love my wife now more than the day I met her, more than yesterday, more than one second ago. My children are beautiful, talented, intelligent little girls that love me very much. We have a nice home and good vehicles. I've been so hard on myself for so long, but I think its time to give me a break. I can't please everyone and I'm not even going to try anymore. I am moving forward, I am happy and no matter what I know that it will all work out with time. This is my life, the only one I have and I'm going to live it.


I love this song! Someday I might even write one like it ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVvgMEs9qeM

Some thoughts to kick around:

• It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

• Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

• Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

• The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

• Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

and finally...

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Sometimes going and doing stuff without the kids is like a break from reality. I mean don't get me wrong, I love my girls, but I love that woman of mine bunches too! This past weekend I got to have a bunch of adult time with Pam. (Not like that you perverts!) Friday night we went to the OHS v. PHS game with Landon and Sarah. The company was great, but the game was horrible!!!! (OHS got routed to say the least!) Then on Saturday evening we went out with our good friends Andy and Tessa to our hunting lease to go bird hunting. The wind was blowing 30 miles an hour and the hunting stunk but we had a super fun time. We laughed and joked and talked like adults instead of talking to little kids. It was great! So here's to a good wife, good friends and good times!

"I sometimes worry about my short attention span, but not for very long."

I have stuff to write but no time right now. I have tons of reading for my psychology classes to do. I just have a thought stuck in my mind. Last night we were watching a movie with the girls about a young soccer player trying to decide what she wanted to do with her life. I could definitely relate with how she was feeling. Anyway, at one point her coach pulled her to the side and said, "At some point in time you have to quit following your life and lead it." This has been a burning thought in my head for the past 12 hours or so. Am I ready to do that? If I was, where would I lead myself? What if I'm wrong? All of this is just tumbling around in an already confused mind. I know its time to make a move, but which one is just beyond my grasp right now. I'll keep walking, keep going forward, preparing for that moment when I know and I can take off and run.