Change

Life is all about change. Nothing ever stays the same, not for one day, one hour, one minute or one second. Everything is always changing. You would think with all that change, we would be used to it by now. That we could except it as normal in our everyday lives, yet that is not the case. Change is hard. Sometimes it's good and sometimes not. As I near graduation, I'm staring change straight in the face. When Pam and I got married we decided she would go to school and get her degree and then I would follow suit. That was always the plan and we haven't deviated. Yet for so long I've had my nose to the grindstone, working hard to accomplish this goal and now that it is upon me, I don't know what to do next. "Graduation" for so long has been this far off and distant land that I was somehow trying to reach, never quite figuring out what I would do when I got there. Yet here I stand, about a month and a half from graduating and I feel lost. What is next? Where do I go? What will I teach? Do I even want to teach? Should I get my masters degree? Will we move? All these thoughts and more keep pouring through my head. I pray for God's guidance but in the end still feel no direction. I keep asking myself, "How do you know that you are not already on the right path and you just haven't reached the point to where God opens up that door?" Obviously I can't answer that, I can't answer any of the questions in my head. Yet with all this wondering in my head there are some things I'm sure of. I do know that I am proud of me. I'm proud that I have worked so hard to reach this goal. I'm proud that when I walk that stage in December I will do so Summa Cum Laude ("with highest praise") with a 4.0 GPA and a double major in Psychology and History. I'm proud of my wife who has stuck by me through all my anxiety and craziness during the past 5 1/2 years. I'm proud of my girls and their patience with their daddy and hope that what I have accomplished will somehow inspire them someday down the road. This has been a bittersweet journey. It is one I certainly will never forget and am grateful that I have had the opportunity to go through. I have changed, my family has changed and our lives have changed. Change is just part of life, all we can do is seek God and trust that he knows what is best and has the right path paved for us. The future is uncertain and that is one thing that will never change.

1 comments:

    I'm really proud of you and love you...you've done so awesome! You should be proud of yourself!

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