Just Breathe

Well, after quite the break, I suppose I will use this blog again for some personal therapy. So much has happened in my life since my last entry. Most of it I won't get into. A lot of it, I'd just as soon forget but all of it has helped make me who I am today. However, I will talk about one event. Lately, I had been praying God would show me his will and that when he did, I would be obedient and follow. I prayed that he would lead my family into whatever direction he best seen fit because I felt I was at a stand still. It's been one of those prayers that you better mean what you're praying, because more than likely, God is going to move you. Well, on December 4th, God moved me. I am a creature of habit. I like things to stay the same, even if they aren't the greatest, with time they become comfortable. Undoubtedly, God was tired of seeing me in that place because on that Sunday, the 4th day in December, I found out my beautiful wife was pregnant with our 3rd baby. I wasn't sure how to react. We had talked about another baby, but no plans were made and it usually just seemed to be a fleeting idea. All I kept telling myself in my head was "Just Breathe." I think I reacted pretty well, if I do say so myself. Initially the news was followed by excitement, then worry mixed with excitement, then a little apprehension which has now moved into all out fear. Fear of what? Remember the part about me not liking change???? Well, this change has rocked me down to my core. I feel so blessed to be able to bring another life into this world, with the love of my life, but there are so many uncertainties that I'm just having a hard time coping. I keep reminding myself, "Just Breathe." I have to remember, I asked God for his will and if he brought me to this place, he will also bring me through this place. He has always been faithful to provide and I believe he always will. A verse keeps running through my head which turns my fear of my new child into excitement. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God has never lied, so I'm trusting in this, I'm leaning on my God and remembering to "just breathe." No matter how much I like to think I am, I'm not in control and just between you and me, I never really was in the first place. :)


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