Alot of Thinking!

In the last month, I have been asked two different questions that I really had never thought of and wasn't quite sure what the answer was. About a month ago Pam and I drove to Ft. Worth to pick up our new Expedition. (Well its a 2005 but its new to us) Anyway, while sitting in the salesman's office he stopped from his paper work, looked up at me and asked, "So what's your dream?" I just sat there and starred at him. I didn't know what to say, I came to buy a vehicle not dive into my life. Finally, I gave him some generic answer but it wasn't the truth because I didn't know what the real answer was. What is my dream?? I have been pondering this for the last month and have not yet been able to come up with an answer. Then I was chatting with my uncle a couple of days ago and we were talking about my need for perfection and the direction I was going in life. He then asked me, "What is your definition of failure?" Why do people keep asking me me such intense questions?? I honestly had never sat down and tried to define failure. I have always been afraid to "fail" my entire life. So anyway I sat there for a minute thinking of what I feel like failure is and I said, "Failure is not reaching your goal." Feeling like that was a pretty descent answer. He then said to me, "part of your problem is in your definition of failure. If you base success on your entire life, then the only way you can fail is simply to not try. Therefore failure is defined as not trying." It was one of those ah ha! moments or the light bulb above the head moments. I was looking at failure wrong and I also have been failing. I have been afraid to try many different things because I felt like if I was good at them then I would be responsible for those actions. Like Peter Parker's uncle told him in the movie Spiderman, "With success comes responsibility." I've been so afraid to dream because I'm afraid of what may come in those pursuits. So by failing to dream I have also been failing to act or try which in the scheme of life is failure. This may not make since to you who are reading this but in the last 48 hours that I have been pondering it, it has re energized and excited me. I am not a failure and I plan to call that salesman back in the near future and tell him what my dream is. It is amazing how God reveals himself sometimes in simple conversations if you are seeking him for answers. I will succeed and with God's help greatness will come from that success.


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