Who I Am: 2009

I'm Done!

Thursday, December 17, 2009 by Adam

I did it! I finally graduated. It was an awesome fun day, shared with family and friends. I don't know what God has in store for my future but I will trust that it will be great! After graduating I got to spend 3 days hunting with dad! That was some much needed rest and a lot of fun hanging with just me and him; it took me back a few years, when I was just a kid doing the same thing. The fun and excitement of hunting with dad hasn't changed one bit. So now it's off to the next journey. This destination has been reached. Thanks to all for your prayers and thoughts over the years. Thanks to my girls: Pam, MaKayla & Tamara, for standing by me and always being the support that you were. I could not have done it without you. I love you very much! I'm ready to start a new chapter but it can wait until after the first of the year. As for now I am going to enjoy my family and this wonderful holiday season. I hope you all will be able to do the same. I can't believe it's only 8 days until Christmas!!! I better quit typing and get to shopping. Stay safe and I hope to see you all soon. :)

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Unanswered Questions

Wednesday, December 9, 2009 by Adam

I haven't really ever faced this. I haven't wanted to really. Yet lately it is at the front of my mind a lot. I know my dad was a mean person, for most of my life I was scared to death of the guy but it really bothers me how he left. When I think about him I only think of good times, I have a hard time conjuring up bad times, perhaps that has been my way of protecting myself; regardless the thoughts are there. I hadn't talked to him in around 5 years. I can't even remember the last thing I said to him. Was it nice? Was it mean? Does it even matter? Should I even be wasting my time thinking about this? I don't know. I do know that a part of my life is dead. Half of who I am genetically is gone forever. I am struggling with how to handle this situation. I have an awesome dad so I don't feel that loss, but I do feel a loss. A loss I can't explain and wasn't prepared to handle. I hurt for my younger siblings. Losing a dad is tough anytime but especially at that age. They are hurting and confused and he took all the answers with him. I guess that is what is so troubling, there are no answers. There are no truths, no lies, no anythings, just loss. I didn't need him in my life but there is part of me that wishes there was some kind of relationship there. It was just impossible to build one. He missed the opportunity to be a dad, grandparent and a friend. He missed hunting trips, special occasions and graduations. It was such a selfish act, not really unlike him, yet still unexpected. The fact that he was in such a dark and lonely place and felt there was no other way out is extremely disturbing. That must be such a horrible feeling, I really can't imagine. So that's it really, confusion, questions, loss and the inability to have answers for any of it. It's not fair but I guess that's life. Maybe he is getting exactly what he wanted, who knows? That's just another answer he took with when he decided to take his own life. I really don't know what I expected, that's just who he was. I just need closure. Maybe with time.

I heard this song the other day on the radio and it was like the words were taken right out of my head and put to a tune. Just thought I'd share.

You must have been in a place so dark
You couldn't feel the light
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This cant be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything i could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong and
Why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

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Unexcited Excitement

Monday, December 7, 2009 by Adam

I am graduating on Saturday. I am excited, but I am not. This is a very odd feeling. I don't wanna be in school anymore but it has become my place of comfort and it is scary to move on. I hope that God opens up doors soon because I have no idea where to go from here. I am studying today for my last final. MY LAST FINAL!!! I am excited about that. I am so tired of taking tests and I'm especially tired of the stress of studying for and taking the tests. 5 days away...I can't believe it. After all this work, all this time, the end is 5 days away. Crazy! A chapter of our life is about to be closed, we did it and I couldn't be more proud.

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Thought For The Day

Wednesday, October 28, 2009 by Adam

The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese.

Think about it ;)

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Change

Friday, October 23, 2009 by Adam

Life is all about change. Nothing ever stays the same, not for one day, one hour, one minute or one second. Everything is always changing. You would think with all that change, we would be used to it by now. That we could except it as normal in our everyday lives, yet that is not the case. Change is hard. Sometimes it's good and sometimes not. As I near graduation, I'm staring change straight in the face. When Pam and I got married we decided she would go to school and get her degree and then I would follow suit. That was always the plan and we haven't deviated. Yet for so long I've had my nose to the grindstone, working hard to accomplish this goal and now that it is upon me, I don't know what to do next. "Graduation" for so long has been this far off and distant land that I was somehow trying to reach, never quite figuring out what I would do when I got there. Yet here I stand, about a month and a half from graduating and I feel lost. What is next? Where do I go? What will I teach? Do I even want to teach? Should I get my masters degree? Will we move? All these thoughts and more keep pouring through my head. I pray for God's guidance but in the end still feel no direction. I keep asking myself, "How do you know that you are not already on the right path and you just haven't reached the point to where God opens up that door?" Obviously I can't answer that, I can't answer any of the questions in my head. Yet with all this wondering in my head there are some things I'm sure of. I do know that I am proud of me. I'm proud that I have worked so hard to reach this goal. I'm proud that when I walk that stage in December I will do so Summa Cum Laude ("with highest praise") with a 4.0 GPA and a double major in Psychology and History. I'm proud of my wife who has stuck by me through all my anxiety and craziness during the past 5 1/2 years. I'm proud of my girls and their patience with their daddy and hope that what I have accomplished will somehow inspire them someday down the road. This has been a bittersweet journey. It is one I certainly will never forget and am grateful that I have had the opportunity to go through. I have changed, my family has changed and our lives have changed. Change is just part of life, all we can do is seek God and trust that he knows what is best and has the right path paved for us. The future is uncertain and that is one thing that will never change.

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Funny

Monday, August 31, 2009 by Adam

This morning I let our dog Rufio outside to go the bathroom. He is a happy go lucky dog that never barks at anything. However, this morning he saw something he didn't like and he barked his fool head off. I yelled at him, banged on the door, stomped my feet and did everything but throw a fit at that little barking dog. I was walking back through the den mad about all the noise he was making when Tamara calmly remarked, "Dad, I think he has finally found his inner dog." MaKayla and I busted out laughing, yet Tamara never blinked. She just said ,"Well it's true." I really don't know where she thinks these things up. Funny kid.

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Too Quiet

Monday, August 24, 2009 by Adam

I've come to realize, that there is nothing lonelier than a quiet, empty house after a summer full of fun.

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Just A Sample Of Summer Fun!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009 by Adam

What a summer! This has been a very busy, crazy, fun summer. We camped at the lake for Father's day, went to Colorado for the 4th, saw the Rangers play later in July, visited Pam's dad, went to Dinosaur Valley State Park, Carlsbad Caverns and just came back from 4 relaxing days up in the Davis mountains. While I'm trying to figure out how to post more pics, here are just a couple of highlights from the past couple of weeks. I have a bunch to write about and pictures to post, I just have to learn how to use the slide show thingy on here. Can't believe summer is almost over. I guess the saying is true, time flies when you are having fun.

Tamara fearlessly jumping off the high dive at Balmorhea

MaKayla jumping off high dive for the first time

Watching the Rangers play the Red Sox.

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Hey Y'all

Friday, August 7, 2009 by Adam

Well I haven't written much this summer. It has been a very busy, hectic, relaxing, fun, life changing summer. We started off just hanging out around the house enjoying the time off. Then we geared up for 13 days in Colorado with our own camper (very fun!), then came back from Colorado and had to deal with the untimely death of my biological dad. After going through that ordeal we went to watch the Rangers play the Red Sox, the went to Dinosaur Valley State Park and then went to visit Pam's dad and play at Lake Waco. This week we just got back from going to Carlsbad Caverns and are leaving in the morning to go swim at Balmorrhea and then spend a couple of days at my uncle's cabin in Ft. Davis to just chill and recharge for the new school year. It really has been a lot of fun but very exhausting at the same time. To be honest I'm really ready to get back to a normal routine and to finish this last semester of my Bachelor's degree. However, with that said their are still 17 days of summer left and we're gonna party like rock stars during that time, haha. I'll post pics and tell stories of grand adventures when I have more time to write. Well, I gotta run, there's fun to have and stories to make.

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Waiting

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 by Adam

In 10 hours from now this will all be over. My mind is restless tonight even though my body is exhausted. This has been a long, tiring, drawn out process. I'm sure at some point I will be able to look back and evaluate the situation and see the good that has come of this and lessons learned but for now I just want some kind of normality. I want to hang out with my wife, spend some time with my girls and basically just do nothing. Keep us in your prayers as we travel over the next few days and thanks to everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers through this whole mess. I love you all :)

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Rest

Thursday, July 16, 2009 by Adam

Today I sat with my step mom and planned my biological father's funeral, it was very surreal. All night tonight I have been struggling in my mind praying for peace. I know there is peace now for my younger siblings and step-mom and I feel so much relief for that but I feel I've gone about as far as I can go without facing some of the things I have been avoiding. As I thought and prayed tonight this song came in my head and the words have given me peace. Maybe not ALL the peace I need but definetly the peace I need for now. Now its time to rest. :)

In and out of situations,
That tug-of-war at me
All day long I struggle
For answers that I need
But then I come into His presence,
All my questions become clear
And for a sacred moment,
No doubt can interfere

In the presence of Jehovah,
God Almighty, Prince of Peace
Troubles vanish, hearts are mended,
In the presence of The King

Through His love the Lord provided,
A place for us to rest
A place to find the answers,
In hours of distress
Now there is never any reason,
To give up in despair
Just look away and breathe His name,
He will come and meet you there

In the presence of Jehovah,
God Almighty, Prince of Peace
Troubles vanish, hearts are mended,
In the presence of The King

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Unable

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 by Adam

My whole life I have always been able to put my thoughts down into word by writing. Tonight I have sit and stared at a blank page unable to do so. I don't know what to think, I don't know what to feel and to be honest, right now I refuse to do either. I will deal with this someday, just not right now.

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New Adventures

Monday, June 29, 2009 by Adam

Well we are about to set off on our first big family trip in our new camper. It is exciting and scary all at the same time. I remember as a kid riding in the truck with Dad pulling the camper and the excitement I felt and I hope my girls are feeling the same thing. On the other hand I now have a better appreciation for what my Dad did pulling the trailer and setting it up and all that...it's a lot of work. We took a mini-trip for Father's Day to the lake to try and work out any kinks and find out what we might need for a longer trip. I think we have a pretty good handle on it but I'm pretty sure we'll need the Wal-mart somewhere along the way. Also, strangely enough, I feel old when I pull my trailer. It's like...I'm not young anymore, I have a camper and children (who are getting quite old I might add) and it just adds a new dimension to vacation, not bad just different and new. I wish you could all come with us on our grand adventure and we will be thinking of all of you. Keep us in your thoughts and prayer for safe traveling and fun times. I will post pictures when we get back. Until then Happy 4th of July!!!

P.S. Happy Birthday Aunt Lani!!!!!!!! I really wished we could be there for your 21st birthday party but we will be a little further away than usual. I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope all your birthday wishes come true. Love you!! :)

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Date Night

Saturday, June 13, 2009 by Adam

Going on a date tonight with my sexy wife! We don't get to do this as much as we'd like so I'm really excited to get to go. Can you believe it has nearly been 11 years since we started dating and in September will be 10 years that we have been married?!! I know it is cliche to say but I often think I don't know how I could love this person anymore, then I wake up the next day and it has happened. I don't konw how I got her to say "yes," I'm just thankful she did :)

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Update

Monday, June 8, 2009 by Adam

Everything went great! MaKayla's nose is fixed (although you can't see it right now for the splint and bandages). She is laying in bed right now playing her new Ninetendo DS game she got for being such a big girl going through this surgery. I think we are all completely exhausted, fo sho! Thanks for everyone's prayers and thoughts. I'll post more later and some pics once I can hold my eyes open for longer than five seconds at a time. Night Night :)

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Prayer

Sunday, June 7, 2009 by Adam

Just wanted to ask anyone who reads this to keep MaKayla in your prayers. She will be having surgery to repair her broken nose in the morning. She is pretty nervous and I think her parents are too :) We should be out by noon and I'll give an update after that. Thanks!

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Strike!

Sunday, May 17, 2009 by Adam

I will blog more frequently very soon...but after a semester from hell my mind and fingers have gone on strike. They should reach an agreement soon and be back at work better than ever. Hope everyone is doing well. :)

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We Did What?!

Sunday, April 26, 2009 by Adam

This weekend we basically lived at softball and soccer complexes. This weekend Tamara's softball team was in a tournament. Friday night they played at 9:00 p.m. and 10:15 p.m. We got home around 11:45 Friday night...tired. Then got up Saturday morning and went to the soccer fields for MaKayla's game. They won again 3-0 (starting to think I'd make a good soccer coach at some high school, haha). We then headed over to the softball complex to watch Tamara's first game of the day at 3:00. We won that game so we played again at 6:00. We lost that one so we played again at 9:30. We won that one so we were set to play again Sunday morning at 8:00. We got home Saturday night at 11:50....very, very tired. We got up Sunday morning at 6:30 to get ready to be at the ball park by 7:30. We won that game so we were set to play again at 11:00. The 11:00 game got postponed 1 hours so we played at 12:00. And finally we lost and were knocked out of the tournament at about 1:45 on Sunday afternoon. We were very, very, very tired. I don't know who is more tired Tamara or us :) In case you lost count that was a combined 8 games for the Lewis household this weekend. I told Dad "You never realize how much your parents did for you until you become a parent yourself." That was never more true than this weekend. HAHA!!! I'm going to bed now, must get sleep.

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Easter Story

Monday, April 20, 2009 by Adam

I have a few spare minutes and I thought y'all would like to hear this one :) We took the girls shopping for Easter dresses and both girls found something very cute. MaKayla picked out this new long dress shirt thing with leggins (supposedly its in style I don't know about these things) and Tamara picked out a dress with a lace jacket. After walking around the store a little more Tamara decided she had to have a pair of the sheer lace gloves to go with her outfit. I told her no she didn't need them. She continued to bug Pam and I about it for the next 40 minutes as we walked around the store. She kept saying things like, "You are supposed to dress up for Easter," and "I'm gonna tell Nana that you won't let me dress up," and "DAD! It's Easter!" Finally my nerves wore down to thin strings of nothingness I said, "If you can give me one good reason you should have those gloves and you can't say "Because it's Easter" then I will get them for you." I no more got the words out of my mouth when she blurted out in a very stern and matter of fact voice, "BECAUSE I'M A PRINCESS!" HMMM...we walked over and got the gloves. (Pam laughed the whole way....it wasn't THAT funny!)

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Crunch Time

Thursday, April 16, 2009 by Adam

I have 4 papers due on the 23rd and 7 papers due on the 30th. That's 11 papers. I have 7 1/2 of them written. I can do it :) Plus I have to make a power point presentation for my research project and take 2 finals by May 5. On top of all this school yumminess, MaKayla has a soccer tournament this weekend, guaranteed at least 3 games...possibly 5. Tamara has a softball tournament next weekend guaranteed at least 4 games. I love watching my girls play sports but right now it's running me ragged. I have lots of stories to write but only limited time, so I must go. I have to find more newspaper articles from the 1860's...you can't imagine how much fun that is :) Hope everyone is doing well. Happy late Easter and Happy early Memorial Day just in case I don't get to post again before then. HAHAHA!!!

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I'm Here

Wednesday, April 1, 2009 by Adam

I'm here I'm just swamped with school. Here is my rundown for April. Complete and present my research project and take a final in my Experimental Psych class. Write 6 more papers for Civil War history class. Take an exam and a book review in English history. And last but not least, do a presentation over a research article and exam in Adult Development. On top of this I coach MaKayla's soccer team on Monday, Thursdays and Saturdays, and work with Tamara's softball team on Wednesday and Saturday. It is going to be a very, very busy month for sure but should be interesting :)

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We Wonder Why Kids Grow Up Stupid???

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 by Adam

Last night I was at Albertsons to grab some chicken before "24" started. I was walking by this mom with three rather obese children when the mom asked one of the managers from Albertsons to explain that the junk food her kids wanted was not good for them. The manager then went on to say this..."Junk food is bad for your heart. It can destroy your arteries. Do you know what arteries are? They are veins." WHOA!!! Hold the phone. Did I just hear this lady explain to kids that arteries are veins? Wow! I'm no Dr. but I'm pretty sure there is a pretty big difference between an artery and a vein. We wonder why America's intelligence is declining. Oh well, the manager had good intentions even though she obviously needs to brush up on her A&P.

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Quiet

Monday, March 23, 2009 by Adam

I am a person who needs quiet to work most efficiently. I didn't get much school work done over spring break because there wasn't much quiet. Yet now sitting alone in the empty house, quiet doesn't seem so great. All I can hear is the ringing in my ears, the very annoying mockingbird outside and the sound of the wind against the windows. I'd much rather hear laughter, cartoons and footstep running through the house. It seems like I never enjoy anything until its not there. I really need to work on living and being more in the moment, I'm always thinking of my next move...what I need to do next. I need to slow down, I don't want my children growing up and being like me. Yet it's in the quiet when I seem to work best and get closer to God. I guess I'm just a person who needs the quiet. Speaking of...I'm not a person who talks much about what God speaks to me. I often question if the things we hear is God talking or something we are thinking up. Yet the other day I was kinda just praying and going along when there was almost and audible voice that said, "Be Still." It shocked me. Honestly I don't know that I have ever had anything like that ever in my life. Since then I have really been thinking about that. What does "Be Still" mean and what am I supposed to do with it? "Be Still" how? Today as I sit in the quiet and try to work on homework, these words burn in my mind. Maybe I'm making it too complicated, which I frequently do. You know now that I think about it, the quiet is sometimes more disruptive than the noise. Maybe I should go turn cartoon network on or something, I need to get some work done and in the quiet my brain has too much to hear and say. WOW! I'm pretty sure they have medicine for people like me.

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Wondering

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 by Adam

God said he would never give us more than we can handle...I wonder how much more that is??

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UGH!!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009 by Adam

Looking for original newspaper articles over the 1860 and 1864 presidential elections = NO FUN!!!!!!!!!

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Commitments

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 by Adam

Your commitments shape you life more than anything else. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you.

Tell me what you're committed to and I'll tell you what you'll be in twenty years. We become whatever we're committed to.

What are you committed to????

I got this in a daily devotional I received today from someone in our small group. It really got me to thinking. What am I really committed to? Think about this today. What is it that you are truly and honestly committed to? Its easy to say God, but take a deeper look and see if there is any "other" commitments in the way of the one with God. Hope this gets you to thinking like it did me.

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Quote For The Day

Monday, February 23, 2009 by Adam

Hope this enlightens you and brightens your day! :)

"Life is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it."

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Pray For Me

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 by Adam

It seems I've bitten off more than I can chew this semester with the selection of classes I took. I will have to write a total of 15 papers (minimum 5 pages) as well as develop and conduct a research project. I read all day long, I write all day long, I get up in the middle of the night and work, yet there still doesn't seem to be enough of me to get it all done. Pray that I would have the strength to work through this and make it to May 5. (Last day of the semester) I'm really tired and frustrated right now. I need some peace.

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What Am I Gonna Do With Those Girls??!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 by Adam

Tonight after school the girls and I were playing baseball in the front yard. Everything was going along great, we were laughing and having a good time and then it happened... Like a bad slow motion replay on America's funniest home videos, I pitched the ball...MaKayla swung the bat...then it was almost as if time stopped. I tried to move but my feet were glued to the ground, my hands were frozen as if I was pressed up against a glass and then it hit me. That's right, the baseball smacked me right in the goodies. I instantly let out a rather loud "UGH!!" then hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. I lay there rolling around on the ground trying not to cough up my umm....well you get the picture. As I lay there in agony, I hear this strange sound. It is almost like the sound of children laughing. Wait!!! It is children laughing. I look over and see both of my girls heehawing like they just saw one of the funniest things they had ever seen. Then to make matters worse Tamara yells out to MaKayla, "you really smacked him in the nuts that time!" What?!! What just came out of my baby's mouth? I tried not to laugh but I did. Well, I laughed and moaned at the same time. When I finally caught my breath and got everything back in its original place, I asked Tamara where she heard that. She replied, "I don't know, I was gonna say nuggets but nuts sounded better." MaKayla was still laughing. At this point humiliated and dejected I turned around and went inside to tell Pam and see if I could get any sympathy there (wink wink). Wouldn't you know it...she laughed too! I get absolutely no respect around this house. That's okay, they all have to go to sleep sometime.

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ALRIGHT!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 by Adam

I know my sister already put it in her blog but I am too. My mom started her own business called Alphabet Soup and More. Right now you can check out her products at http://www.alphabetsoupandmore.etsy.com or if you know her number give her a call and see what she can do for you. She has some really awesome stuff and I'm not just saying that cause she paid me $100 to post this on my blog. (j/k haha) I'm very proud of you Mama, I hope your new business does awesome!!! EVERYONE GO CHECK OUT THIS SITE!!! (and buy stuff)

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That Was Fun!

Saturday, February 7, 2009 by Adam

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go to Arizona on a quail hunt. And when I say weekend to Arizona, I mean WEEKEND. We left last Thursday around 2:00p.m. and arrived in Tucson around midnight. We got up at 6:00 on Friday morning, hunted all day Friday, and went to bed that night around 9:00. We then got up Saturday morning around 5:00 drove an hour and a half to the Arizona/Mexico border and again hunted all day. At this point we were about 30 miles from Tombstone so we of course had to go check that place out. We were all exhausted and decided we would stay the night in Tombstone. Once we got there and drove around and looked at the sights, we mutually decided to just "drive home until we couldn't drive anymore." This was 5:00 at this point. So away we went back to Texas. I arrived in my driveway at 4:30 on Sunday morning. That's right we drove over 21 hours (about 1400 miles according to Tom Tom) in two days hunting VERY HARD during that period. I woke up Sunday around noon and felt like someone had just whooped the snot out of me. I wasn't much fun at our Super Bowl party and I'm just now today starting to feel normal again. You know what though, I'd do it again in a heartbeat! You know me when it comes to hunting and if you didn't you do now :)

Cool picture of where we were hunting.

My first Gambel's Quail (my favorite quail)

Me standing by a HUGE Sororo Cactus

Good day's work! (there's 38 you don't have to count!)

Standing in Boothill at Tombstone, Arizona (I'm your Huckleberry)

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I've Been There

Thursday, January 29, 2009 by Adam

When I was a kid I lived for three things: fishing, hunting and baseball. There was nothing I looked more forward to than doing those things with Dad. He taught me to play baseball (although I think he wondered if I'd ever quit throwing like my mom), he taught me to catch a bass, and taught me to hunt. This was my life, everything revolved around those three things. I remember though as a kid there were times that Dad went on trips that I couldn't go on. Trips to deer camp in Mason, Elk hunting trips in Colorado...these trips devastated me. I didn't understand that while I was getting older and bigger, I still wasn't ready for those kinds of hunts yet. Today I find myself on the other end of this scenario. Since MaKayla was little I have taken her hunting, fishing and taught her every sport she has wanted to learn. She is a good hunting buddy, probably my favorite. However, today I am leaving to Arizona to go on a three day quail hunting adventure and I have to leave her behind. It's going to be a fun but tough three days of hunting. MaKayla is heartbroken that I am not taking her. She cried last night because she doesn't understand that even though she's bigger, she's just not ready for some hunts yet. I'd love for her to be there, I'd love for her to experience the hunt but I know she wouldn't be able to keep up with all the physical demands if she went. This morning as I dropped them off at school and walked them to the gym, she couldn't talk. She couldn't say bye, she couldn't hardly even look at me. Her eyes were full of tears and I'm sure there was a knot in here throat the size of a baseball...I know I've been there. And while it feels like that day will never come I promise eventually the day will be here when my favorite hunting buddy will be right there by my side, heading out on a grand hunting adventure. :)

Pray for my baby girls, pray that Jesus would comfort their hearts and keep them safe while I'm gone. Pray that God would watch over my family while I'm away and that he would keep his hands on me while I travel.

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I Can't Believe It!

Sunday, January 25, 2009 by Adam

I can't believe it. 9 years ago today, I was probably in one of the happiest and most confused states in my life. I didn't know how I was going to be a daddy to a precious baby girl but I knew I was going to give it all I had. I can't believe that that baby girl is 9 years old today! It seems like yesterday she was a tiny baby in my arms, looking up at me with eyes that could melt the hardest of hearts. Those eyes are still there, but they are in a much bigger girl now. Time flies so fast, when she was a baby I wanted her to be a little bigger so I could play with her, and now that she's a little bigger I want her to be a baby so I can take care of her forever. I never in a million years could have imagined all the happiness and love that she has brought in my life. She makes me want to be a better person, to be the dad that she thinks that I am. :) When she was little I'd tuck her in and say , "Holler at daddy if you need anything," and not 5 seconds after I'd shut her door and walk down the hall I'd hear, "Daddy I need anything, princess needs you." It seems like a long time since I've heard that little voice holler out as I walk down the hall. While I miss those times and cherish them, I cherish every minute I have with my beautiful princess and thank God everyday that she's mine. Happy Birthday baby girl, I'm so proud of all you are and all that you have become. You are a beautiful, courteous, intelligent loving girl and I love you more than words can say. You are the wind in my sails and my sun on cloudy days. Nothing on earth makes me prouder than being your daddy. Remember if you need anything just holler...Daddy will be right there. ;)

Through the Years

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I Need To Slow Down!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 by Adam

You know on Star Trek when Captain Kirk says "Warp Speed!" Then out of the front of the ship all the stars start looking like long lines as the ship reaches warp speed then blasts out of sight. Well, that's how I feel right now. My classes this semester are extremely time consuming. I have 9 books to read (and I don't read books). Currently I read 30 minutes from one book, take a 10 min break, then 30 min. of another and so on and so on. I am only reading 4 books right now, but comprehending everything I'm reading is killing me. On top of that I am developing a research study which is more than what I originally bargained for....yuck!!! Tamara's been sick, MaKayla has been clingy, Pam is tearing up the kitchen, tearing down border and repainting and I feel like my head is going to EXPLODE!!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm running a marathon with my eyes closed and can't figure out which way to turn next...I might be heading in the right direction or I might be heading off a cliff, who knows! On top of all of that I scheduled a hunt in Arizona on Jan. 29 so I will be gone January 29-February 2. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm excited about this once in a lifetime opportunity to go on this hunt, the timing is just off right now. Now, I have to do that much more work to not get behind while I'm gone, but if you wanna play I guess you gotta pay. I keep telling myself this is just temporary, when I make it through this semester I will have 6 hours left. 6 hours...I can't believe it. When I started back to school 5 years ago, I felt like this day would never come. It would have been much easier to do this school thing before wife and kids, but I guess you play with the cards you're dealt. We made a plan, stuck to it and we've almost reached our first big goal. I look forward to that, but I can't afford to look ahead, there's too many things that will jump up and smack me in the face right now! I need things to slow down, to calm down...I need to calm down. I need to trust and take this one day at a time...I can do it, I think.

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IT IS COLD!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009 by Adam

There is cold and then there is COLD!!!! My bones are frozen, my brain hurts and my eyes are fuzzy. (Maybe that's from lying on the couch doing homework and not the cold..hmmm) Anyhow I was watching the weather channel and it is like -36 degrees in Green Bay, WI. Ouch that's cold! In some town in Alaska it was -65 degrees outside. My mom and I were discussing that temp. in Alaska and she said," What do you do when it's that cold outside?" My reply was, "Why do you think Eskimos have so many kids?" HAHA!!! Gotta stay warm somehow!! :) Alright well, my study break is over I have to get back to one of my 9 books I have to read this semester....YUCK!!! Stay warm.

Here's a song to go with this blustery cold day! ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crFQpOCDfEc

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New Semester

Tuesday, January 13, 2009 by Adam

Well, I started back to school today. I really enjoy school but its always tough to get back in the swing of things. My first class didn't last that long and I have 2 more this afternoon and then 1 tonight, plus there's that stinkin ole web class. 16 hours is not too much but all the classes I'm taking combined, makes for a pretty tough schedule. Not to mention soccer practice, softball practice, meals, homework and being a dad and husband, my schedule feels pretty full. I commit 8 hours a day to school and the rest is divided up amongst everyone else. I enjoy this time but look forward to what God has in store for me in the future. (Only 6 hours to go after this semester!!!) On top of the beginning of a new semester, I am working on a new diet called DASH. It is the Dietary Approach to Stop Hypertension. Lately my blood pressure readings have been a little off and I have been feeling out of sorts so I have changed my diet and that includes no caffeine! Its not too bad besides the horrible brain splitting headaches from not getting my 1000mg of caffeine per day. However on the plus side after just 3 days on the diet my blood pressure readings were better than normal this morning so hopefully I can curve this thing before it gets out of hand. (No matter how in shape you are you can't do anything about your genes!!! Dang it!) Alright well, I've rambled on enough, I need to go grab a quick snack and head to my next class. I have more interesting things to write about but currently am experiencing one of those previously mentioned headaches and I need to get some meds and fast!! Hope everyone has a blessed day! :)

This is a look into my life. My everyday thoughts, feelings and events that make me who I am.

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