This morning I have been sitting and searching. Wondering what I am supposed to do with my life, where I'm supposed to be. I have loved being a stay home dad over the last 3 years but both my girls are in school now and it's time for new direction, but what? As I sit and I ponder different ideas nothing jumps out and says, "yes! that is the one." I mean yes I am going to school, but I've never been sure that that is what I wanted to do. Honestly, I don't want to teach. However, I really do enjoy coaching so what am I to do? I have been in a struggle with this for some time now, but it just seems that the issue is becoming more pressing. I honestly feel completely lost. One of my biggest problems is I am too busy trying to make everyone else happy and do what everyone else thinks I should do, but that is me, that is who I am. I've always been that way and perhaps always will. It is not just one thing though, it never is. It is not just that I have no direction in my life, but we can't find a church, which is extremely disappointing and discouraging. Its as if we have tried every church in Odessa, and Midland that have good children programs and have younger couples and we just can't find anything. I am really growing tired of this as well and this weighs heavy on me daily. I know in life there are peaks and valleys it just seems that for awhile I have been in the Grand Canyon and I'm tired. Normally I hold most of my thoughts and emotions in, I might tell them to Pam but most of the time I keep them in. I know I have a good life and I do feel blessed, I'm just searching, searching for something that will make me happy, fulfilled and fill as though I have purpose. Sorry for dumping on my blog, it just usually helps me to write out my thoughts. Pray for me, that I might find direction, to find what I'm searching for and to give me peace inside, because I really am tired and I just need help through this valley in my life.


    first, don't apologize for dumping on your blog. have you ever read my blog? um.. yeah. that's the purpose for blogs. second, i'm praying for you. you were made for a specific purpose by an incredible God who loves you more than anything else. if you continue to seek Him and His will for your life, it will be revealed. i know, it takes for-e-ver. i agree. i am impatient and long for a purpose as well -- i know the feeling. but He is so faithful and good. ask Him to reveal His purpose for you today -- only today. and then do that. eventually, where He is leading you will become clear. all we can ask for is another day. but He is working on all the ones that are ahead. trust Him. He will not fail.

    she's right. that is totally what blogs are for!

    thanks for sharing. i've felt like this a lot in the past few months and sometimes it does take forever to figure out what's going on and what God wants with our lives. but, as seph said, if you continue to pray and seek Him, he will reveal himself.

    i'm praying for you, cuz.

    I've felt like that forever, but right now I'm getting it a little. In other words, there will always be those seasons of restlessness, wondering if you are doing the thing you were created for or if there is even something you were created for. just relax and listen. talk to Him, and listen. just be still, and listen.

    I know of a good church, with young couples with young children...they need a children's pastor!

    Aunt Lani loves you!

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